A little over 4 months ago I wrote an article that I never intended to publish.
It was an accident that it got submitted for publication in the first place. I woke up one morning to an e-mail announcing that my article about Twin Flames was going to be published on one of the biggest online platforms in the country.
My heart sunk and my entire body was filled with dread. I started to panic. Everyone would know what I had tried to keep to myself for so long, because even I didn't understand it.
However, dread soon turned to excitement as I saw the number of shares soar into the thousands. That article currently has 9.7k shares. I thought: "maybe people would be open to hearing my story...maybe I wouldn't have to hide anymore?"
Since then, I have had many people reach out to me. All for which I am eternally grateful and honored.
I feel it only honest and authentic to share with you why I wrote that article in the first place. Because the longer I deny myself this freedom of speaking my truth, the longer I will feel in the dark.
The past two years of my life have been a whirl-wind. I changed instantly, almost over-night due to a very brief encounter. I woke up one day and I couldn't go back to who I used to be.
Everything about me changed. Every limiting belief, fear and pain in me had been brought to the surface. Everything was highlighted, stronger and life had more meaning. I finally felt in me a huge surge in purpose, in identity.
I saw myself connected to everyone and everything on the planet. I had a spiritual awakening and upon returning from France in 2016 I tried to blend my old life with my new one.
It was almost if I had been walking through life drunk and I suddenly woke up sober. I had to make changes. I had to let go of people, places and ideas that were no longer right for me.
I had a connection to someone that was unexplainable and supernatural. Many times I tried to forget. Many times I ran from the feelings I felt. Many times I thought I was going mentally insane.
Until I met someone who understood. I met someone like me who assured me that what I was going through was supernatural, spiritual, but it didn't mean I was crazy. She called it twin flames.
It sounded like some weird voodoo cousin to the idea of soulmates.
I was trying to figure out how my outer world could be so vastly different from how I felt on the inside. Because even when the outer "relationship" was going in the deep end I still felt immense love.
I would have dreams before, during and after meeting this person that to this day blow my mind. I got clues about where we would meet, how and when.
I experienced telepathy and out of body experiences. I would feel emotions out of nowhere that were not mine. My soul was pushing me to let go and to allow myself to be who I had always been.
The psychic gifts I long denied in myself came back full force. I had to accept them. I guess you could say I started seeing spirits. My medium gifts came to me slowly and then all at once.
Until this day I have not felt comfortable talking about my experiences or my spiritual gifts for fear of rejection, humiliation and isolation. I've feared being labeled as a "freak."
But believe me when I say that sometimes life chooses a path for you that you did not. Sometimes destiny has a way of catching up to you.
My life would be easier if I had never met this person, but I would not be who I am today. Sometimes people serve a great purpose in your life, but that doesn't always mean they are meant to stay in my our lives.
In the beginning, I only shared my story and gifts with those that needed it most. But I'm done hiding, and I'm done living two lives.
I am one whole person. I do not want to live this part of my life in the shadows anymore. I don't want to be separate from who I truly am.
Because we are humans and we are flawed with wounds and scars that no one can see. But after this experience I found the courage in me to stop denying my pain and start accepting it.
I started to accept that all the fears in me of not being good enough, or pretty enough or this or that enough were just excuses. They were illusions.
They were my mental mind trying to fit the story of what I saw and experienced into the standard that society projects onto us.
But this world is a hologram. We are dreamers constantly dreaming. We dream when we sleep, but we also dream when we are awake. This is my dream. This is my reality. I don't want to live in society's dream anymore.
Over time I've learned to let go. I've learned to understand that when someone doesn't choose us it is not rejection. It is learning. It is growth for their soul and our's. It is our energy telling us that there is more out there in this life. Energy must flow. Energy wants to expand and evolve and anything in the past is simply that, in the past.
But it is a gift. Everything in this life is a gift. Every lesson. Every hardship.
There are soul contracts we have with other souls and other lessons we need to learn. All we can do is love. Love everyone and accept their choices.
Because at the end of the day we all have free will. Even if our souls are bound to a path we are constantly on a journey of expansion and evolution. We are constantly choosing our destiny in this one moment we call now.
What ways can we love ourselves more?
What ways can we learn to love others more? What ways can we empower ourselves to be our own creators above fear of judgement?
Anything is possible.
I'm proof of that. We all are.
I hope that someone out there reading this resonates even a little bit with what I've been going through. I am blessed. Above all, I am blessed to have lived two lives in one.
As I'm getting ready to post this on my blog, my entire body is shaking. I'm in fear. I'm scared, but I know I must do this. I must speak my truth.
Because as the consciousness of love and acceptance rises on this planet, I have no doubt in my mind that more and more people with feel comfortable coming forward and sharing their stories too.
I wish you only the best in this life.