"A soulmate is not your twin or someone like yourself. We are meant to reinforce each other in ways in which we are similar and to stretch each other in areas in which we are different." -Doreen Virtue, P.h. D. from Divine Prescriptions
In today's society we are conditioned to believe in a one, true love. And while the idea of this is beautiful, it is also very limiting.
Holding onto this ideology could have us missing out on a beautiful, potential partnership, because we are stuck believing that jerk who rejected us 4 years ago is still probably the one...
I once read that in every country you could have multiple soulmates. Soulmates aren't limited to be solely romantic partners either. They could be a good friend, a teacher or a mentor.
But for the purpose of this article I'm going to focus on the romantic aspect of this connection.
1. Soul groups
We are all born with our soul groups close by. We will meet people all over the world that resonate with us, and we will feel a strong pull to them. This is because before our birth we set up pre-life contracts to meet, learn and share with these people. Often these souls are souls we have shared previous lives with. They are heavily invested in your soul growth and you are in their's.
Soulmates, however, are a little different, because they could be a part of your soul group or not. Most soulmates are a groupie, but they don't have to be.
I've seen soulmates that come into people's lives simply because they shared past lives together and there is some kind of karma to balance or lesson to resolve.
2. The varying spectrum
I truly believe that all soul bonds or soul mates come to us and reflect whatever energy we are currently emitting. If you are full of hurt and pain, well, your soulmate will reflect that to you.
This never means that you have done something to deserve this pain. Rather, you are holding onto a limiting subconscious belief that is no longer serving you. Once you let go of a belief, you are usually able to let go of that person.
You can also reach a point of self-fulfillment and self-love and attract a partner to you that adds peace and joy to your life. This simply means that you have filled yourself up first and no longer need someone to reflect your pain back to you.
This doesn't mean that a soulmate relationship will come without work or problems, it simply means that you have leveled up in a way you were never able to do before.
2. Destiny or fated meetings
I hate to break it to you, but while we may have intended for our souls to meet certain people or be in certain relationships it really does all come down to free will and choice.
What exactly does this mean?
Basically, no one can make you eat the doughnut.
Here's an example: you wake up one morning and realize you want a doughnut. So, you put on your clothes and you put forth an effort to get in your car and go to the local Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. On the way there you almost blow a tire and run a red light. Whew. That was close! You considered maybe going back home, because did you really need that doughnut anyway? But you decide to trudge ahead and finally end up at the store.
You go into the store and they only have one doughnut left, but you aren't even sure it's the doughnut you want. It has sprinkles and you wanted a glazed. Here you have a choice: take the doughnut and enjoy it, or walk away.
Why am I telling this crazy story about a doughnut when I don't even eat doughnuts?
It's because I'm trying to make a point. The universe can send you a hundred and two soulmates, but if you aren't committed to putting in the work and getting out there...it won't come to you.
If you don't put forth an effort, there will be no chances for you to have your doughnut....and eat it too. haha
Expectations are the death of love. Now repeat that a hundred times. You heard it right. The more expectations you have, the more you limit your chances of finding love and keeping love.
I'm not trying to be pessimistic. I'm simply being real.
Now, you are probably thinking: "Jiselle, I just have high standards."
Great! Don't lose those high standards, but do you measure up to your standards?
When you write up a list of how you want to feel, how you want to be treated and the type of person you desire to be with...can you honestly say you check all those boxes yourself?...without a partner?
For you to attract a healthy, balanced, beautiful partnership you need to become your best, most amazing partner. Without them.
But do not worry, once you do this they will be attracted to you like a moth to a flame!
4. It takes work
I'm going to make it very clear: finding a soulmate and making it last takes work. Beyond the honeymoon phase of about two years, the cracks begin to show...because we are human.
We are flawed. We have past trauma. We all are a work in progress. Understand that your partner will make mistakes. They will probably hurt you. But you get to make the choice to forgive them and yourself. You get to make the choice to move forward with them or not...
This is where it might be beneficial to walk away and heal. Sometimes a soulmate was meant to teach us a lesson and then we must move on.
But please, if you took anything from this article know that the universe never takes anything away without the intention of brining you something else.
I hope I didn't crush your dreams of finding prince charming. That's not my point.
My point is to let you relax into the fact that you have many chances to find a soulmate.
Starting with yourself. You are that soulmate you seek the very most of all.