Before diving into today's blog post a little shameless plug: I have currently been doing training in psychic mediumship. I am not yet finished with the course, but I would love to practice more.
If you are interested in scheduling a 30 minute reading with me please go to my "Book a Reading" tab on this site and use the scheduling app on that page. All I ask is that you come open and willing to listen to the messages intended for you. I would be so honored to connect with you.
Okay, with that over and done with.
Let's talk about choice.
I truly believe there are two ways to see choice.
One is from the quite standard way and how our society has taught us to think of choice, and the other is from the higher perspective or seeing choice from the soul's perspective.
I have recently just moved to Paris. I thought I was going to acclimate quite easily as I have lived in France many times before, but living in Paris is so different from anything I have ever experienced.
I am working full time for the first time in my life. I have to work twice as hard, because I work in a foreign language. At night I can't turn my brain off and end up sleeping maybe four hours a night before doing it all over again the next day.
At the end of this week, I was, quite frankly, on my pity pot feeling sorry for myself. I was doubting myself and my abilities.
I know what you are thinking: "You're living the dream? Why are you so sad?"
Because I'm outside of my comfort zone and really really scared. Well, my ego is scared anyway.
Case and point: I was doubting every choice I have ever made in my life to get me to this point.
I was asking myself why I had made these choices in the first place? Were they really mine to make, or were they simply the accumulation of choices I thought I had to make to feel safe and secure in this life.
And then I had a reality check before drifting off to sleep one night.
My soul literally screamed at me: "Jiselle, it doesn't matter what choice you make. They are all leading you in the same direction: back to you. Back to finding out who you are at your core."
And then I could breathe.
Maybe you can relate to this feeling?
To the world, you may look like you have it all together. But inside you are afraid and doubting if you are good enough or deserving enough.
If you are feeling this way, you are making the right choice.
Because there are no "right choices" in life. There are just choices and then more choices.
To get perspective, we have to distance ourself from the reality of our day to day lives. There is no wrong decision. There is only growth.
The soul does not see choices as good or bad, or black and white.
When you make choices, you have the choice to make different choices to bring you back to your purpose.
We are not one dimensional beings. We are multi-dimensional. This means we are existing on multiple planes of existence at once. Mind boggling isn't it?
It simply means that we are infinite. As infinite as the universe is wide.
The number of choices we could make in this life are many. But that doesn't really matter as much as learning to let go and surrender to our souls.
If we truly are infinite and learn to live life from this place with intention, we are not as defined by our choices as reality would like us to think.
Everyday that we wake up we have a choice: to live life seeing everything as mundane, or to live life seeing everything as the miracle that it is.
That is the paradox of choice. Your choices today define your reality tomorrow. But you are always free to choose differently.
You are always free to change your destiny.
"A soulmate is not your twin or someone like yourself. We are meant to reinforce each other in ways in which we are similar and to stretch each other in areas in which we are different." -Doreen Virtue, P.h. D. from Divine Prescriptions
In today's society we are conditioned to believe in a one, true love. And while the idea of this is beautiful, it is also very limiting.
Holding onto this ideology could have us missing out on a beautiful, potential partnership, because we are stuck believing that jerk who rejected us 4 years ago is still probably the one...
I once read that in every country you could have multiple soulmates. Soulmates aren't limited to be solely romantic partners either. They could be a good friend, a teacher or a mentor.
But for the purpose of this article I'm going to focus on the romantic aspect of this connection.
1. Soul groups
We are all born with our soul groups close by. We will meet people all over the world that resonate with us, and we will feel a strong pull to them. This is because before our birth we set up pre-life contracts to meet, learn and share with these people. Often these souls are souls we have shared previous lives with. They are heavily invested in your soul growth and you are in their's.
Soulmates, however, are a little different, because they could be a part of your soul group or not. Most soulmates are a groupie, but they don't have to be.
I've seen soulmates that come into people's lives simply because they shared past lives together and there is some kind of karma to balance or lesson to resolve.
2. The varying spectrum
I truly believe that all soul bonds or soul mates come to us and reflect whatever energy we are currently emitting. If you are full of hurt and pain, well, your soulmate will reflect that to you.
This never means that you have done something to deserve this pain. Rather, you are holding onto a limiting subconscious belief that is no longer serving you. Once you let go of a belief, you are usually able to let go of that person.
You can also reach a point of self-fulfillment and self-love and attract a partner to you that adds peace and joy to your life. This simply means that you have filled yourself up first and no longer need someone to reflect your pain back to you.
This doesn't mean that a soulmate relationship will come without work or problems, it simply means that you have leveled up in a way you were never able to do before.
2. Destiny or fated meetings
I hate to break it to you, but while we may have intended for our souls to meet certain people or be in certain relationships it really does all come down to free will and choice.
What exactly does this mean?
Basically, no one can make you eat the doughnut.
Here's an example: you wake up one morning and realize you want a doughnut. So, you put on your clothes and you put forth an effort to get in your car and go to the local Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. On the way there you almost blow a tire and run a red light. Whew. That was close! You considered maybe going back home, because did you really need that doughnut anyway? But you decide to trudge ahead and finally end up at the store.
You go into the store and they only have one doughnut left, but you aren't even sure it's the doughnut you want. It has sprinkles and you wanted a glazed. Here you have a choice: take the doughnut and enjoy it, or walk away.
Why am I telling this crazy story about a doughnut when I don't even eat doughnuts?
It's because I'm trying to make a point. The universe can send you a hundred and two soulmates, but if you aren't committed to putting in the work and getting out there...it won't come to you.
If you don't put forth an effort, there will be no chances for you to have your doughnut....and eat it too. haha
Expectations are the death of love. Now repeat that a hundred times. You heard it right. The more expectations you have, the more you limit your chances of finding love and keeping love.
I'm not trying to be pessimistic. I'm simply being real.
Now, you are probably thinking: "Jiselle, I just have high standards."
Great! Don't lose those high standards, but do you measure up to your standards?
When you write up a list of how you want to feel, how you want to be treated and the type of person you desire to be with...can you honestly say you check all those boxes yourself?...without a partner?
For you to attract a healthy, balanced, beautiful partnership you need to become your best, most amazing partner. Without them.
But do not worry, once you do this they will be attracted to you like a moth to a flame!
4. It takes work
I'm going to make it very clear: finding a soulmate and making it last takes work. Beyond the honeymoon phase of about two years, the cracks begin to show...because we are human.
We are flawed. We have past trauma. We all are a work in progress. Understand that your partner will make mistakes. They will probably hurt you. But you get to make the choice to forgive them and yourself. You get to make the choice to move forward with them or not...
This is where it might be beneficial to walk away and heal. Sometimes a soulmate was meant to teach us a lesson and then we must move on.
But please, if you took anything from this article know that the universe never takes anything away without the intention of brining you something else.
I hope I didn't crush your dreams of finding prince charming. That's not my point.
My point is to let you relax into the fact that you have many chances to find a soulmate.
Starting with yourself. You are that soulmate you seek the very most of all.
I was the little girl who looked forward to Halloween every year, dressed up as a witch any chance I got, and had a rock and gemstone collection under my bed since the age of 4.
I remember how I loved to be out in nature, and still do.
I've always had vivid dreams and would often "see" things before they would happen. I'm super empathic and will feel other's emotions as if I am feeling my own.
It's odd for me to talk about these aspects of my life here on my blog, because I often hid them from most people around me. I was worried I'd be shamed or rejected for my "different" tastes.
But it doesn't just start with me. My family has a long history of being "psychic." Apparently my mom's side descended from a band of traveling Romanian gypsies. Not really the topic of conversation when you want to sound "cool" to other people...
But Ancestry DNA has definately confirmed the Romanian part haha
All in all, I'm done shaming myself for something that has always come natural to me.
I was talking to my homeopath back home and she told me that all people have the ability to tap into their intuition and be psychic. It just simply depends on genetics, life circumstances and an "open-ness" to the idea.
She explained it like a computer with all these softwares running. Some people are more prone to these abilities and cultivate them and some people, usually out of fear, shut the software down.
Most men, who are naturally intuitive also, are taught by society to turn it off because it's not "masculine."
In society, any feeling that isn't deemed "normal" or "acceptable" is seen as bad, and many beautiful souls with wonderful gifts spend their whole lives running from it.
I truly believe that as humans we are both spiritual and earthly. I think we all have the ability to tap into these gifts, and I don't believe it is limited to one gender or one specific type of person. But the real difficulty comes in trying to balance both our divine nature and our daily human lives.
Just recently, I've decided to receive training to better my understanding of who I am and my gifts.
When my gifts first started to appear I was energetically drained all the time. I kept connecting with my spirit guides, and I didn't know how to create healthy boundaries to guard my energy.
I was a college student with homework, classes and activities, but I was also waking up every morning seeing spirits. I was very lost to say the least.
I felt caught between two worlds, literally.
But just recently after the passing of my uncle, I experienced something I have never experienced before.
I was able to channel information from my uncle to my mother over the phone. I started seeing all these images and getting this information I should have never been able to know. I was, after all, in France during the time leading up to his death.
I was able to give my family peace. And that was the most beautiful gift I could have ever hoped for.
It made me question my entire existence and why I am here.
No matter where you are on your own journey, please remember that you are your own guide.
When you clear the mind and tune into your soul, you will receive guidance and signs leading you in the right direction.
Whether that means you are "psychic" or not. It doesn't matter. You are wonderful just the way you are.
Sending you love and light xoxo,
I'm a true believer that there is always a blessing in a hard situation.
Such was the case when I decided to try Accutane. You can read my blog post *here all about my experience on the drug.
When I went back to my dermatologist here in France, she offered to lower me to 10 mg. I told her no. I was done with the treatment.
It's been about a month since I've stopped Accutane, and I was honestly expecting the worse.
If you've ever had bad acne you know that there is this anxiety or fear about waking up to another super painful bump coming in almost every morning.
I woke up almost everyday for the past 2 years with that as my reality.
However, since making minor and I mean super minor changes to my diet and lifestyle I've healed my skin.
Here are the tips:
1. Avoid stress, practice meditation daily
2. Cutting out all dairy products
3. Cutting out triggers such as: chocolate, coffee, nuts, alcohol (everyone's triggers are different)
4. Limiting use of cooking with oil/oily foods (cooking with mostly water!)
5. Almost zero processed/packaged foods
6. Supplements to a minimum (I only take Zinc and B12=vegan life)
7. Simple skin care routine: raw organic honey and jojoba oil (helped my skin the most!) Here's an *article on why.
8. Drinking tons of water
9. Stop picking face/zits (this stops spread of infection)
10. Sleeping at least 8 hours every night (10 is even better!)
Now, is my skin perfect? No. I don't expect it to ever be perfect. I just want to give it the tools to heal.
I don't have some unrealistic image in my head anymore, and I'm not fixed on the idea of having perfect skin.
Now that I know the alternative, and how I felt when I was on that medication, I can never imagine not making these changes.
Even though I am off the medication, I still deal with a super sore neck and aches and pains throughout my body. I may have to deal with that forever.
But now I can live with the fact that I am doing what my body needs and not what is hurting me.
Love and light xoxo,
I'm going to come right out and say it: I don't think anyone has one single life purpose.
I truly believe that we come here with multiple goals and multiple paths for our soul's growth. So relax. If you just graduated college (like me) and have yet to find your dream job...it's okay.
In high school they often make you choose one career path for the rest of your life, and I truly think this is boring, self-limiting and old-school.
I'm the girl who chose not one but three subjects to study in University. I had so many people tell me that I would never find a job, but I chose not to listen to them...
We are limitless souls in a human body. Your needs, experiences and life path will change according to your choice and free will. (If you want to know how I know this, finish reading until the very end.)
In every moment you are creating your life with your thoughts, intentions and emotions.
Here are some ways you can know you are on the path to your life purpose even if it doesn't seem like it:
1. You meet your soul family/group
You know those people you meet for the first time and you just instantly connect? It's almost like meeting an old friend?
They are a part of your soul family.
We have pre-destined soul contracts with people and places that we set up before coming into this life.
The people in your soul group are meant to help you, guide you and be there for you during your life. They often inspire change in you and they often shake you up. Their souls don't want to keep you in a limited version of yourself, so you will often trigger all the negative baggage from one another.
I think it's safe to say that they aren't always peaceful connections, but you know that you're on your soul path when you run into these kindred souls in your day to day life.
2. You have an Identity Crisis
One day you want to be a writer, the next a chef. The next day you want to be a travel blogger....you're probably all over the place in terms of deciding who you want to be.
That is totally okay and totally acceptable. You are not alone in feeling this way.
In fact, if you feel this way, it is a good indication that you're mind is trying to sort through all of the jobs that are not for you.
When we ask for growth and change, the first hurdles that come up to be cleared are our identification to "false masks."
When you were growing up you absorbed all the opinions and ideas of others. When you start to shed these ideas you have to rummage through them like a pile of garbage in your mind to get to the diamond at the bottom.
But you will get there. Through inspired action and internal searching, it will become clear when the time is right.
3. Life becomes hard, like really hard
But here is the catch: life doesn't have to be hard. Going after your multiple reasons for existence doesn't have to be a burden.
Once you ease into the idea that you are the creator of your life, you can relax into the realization that all you are is creating all you have.
When life gets hard it is a blessing. You have the strength to power through. You wouldn't be going through it if your soul was a pussy. You are no pussy soul. You are a warrior.
4. You realize that living your life purpose is easier than you think
Here is a little secret: if you are alive then you are living your life purpose.
Purpose is how you live your life everyday. It's your soul's energetic signature.
Are you true to you? Do you say no when you want to? Do you smile at strangers? Do you do whatever the hell you want to do? etc. etc...
Then you are living your life purpose.
My spiritual gifts allow me to tune into the energetic signature of people's souls and where there soul is wanting to go next.
I never ever ever get a soul read on someone where there soul is like: "I hate where I am. This sucks. This life sucks...I want out."
(When I talk about the "soul" it's not their mind or their opinion of their life. It's their inherent soul frequency and vibration.)
In fact, it is quite the opposite. Our soul is made of love, compassion and understanding.
When I connect with souls who have crossed over, no matter what hardships they have faced in their lifetime on Earth, they are always so grateful for their growth and full of overwhelming joy.
Their soul views all situations as great and for their highest good.
Our human mind makes things way more complicated than it needs to be.
So next time you are overthinking what next steps to take, just trust that your soul is a lot easier on you than you are on yourself...
Sending you love and light xoxo,
I'm super excited to start to post weekly podcasts here on my blog.
My intention for this podcast is to share even more information to help you grow in your life. I truly believe that this information should be accessible to anyone and everyone.
The first episode is all about codependency and how we can heal this energetic pattern to have more fulfilling relationships and a deeper connection to self.
Most people deal with codependency and have no idea that it is a pattern in their lives. I know that learning to acknowledge this pattern in my own life helped me so much!
If you have any questions or topic suggestions for future podcasts send me a message to my e-mail: email@example.com
I hope you enjoy!
Love and light xoxo,
Just recently I created a little starter guide on how I was able to change my life little by little every day.
I know how important these tips are, and so I wanted to share them with you!
In this guide I give you applicable and easy tips on how to feel more content in your life and live the life you desire. AND it's totally FREE!!!! 😀
Some of you may think: "These tips are so general and easy. How can they change my life?"
Yes, they are simple and easy. But they hold the power to open you up to realize that only you hold the power to change your life.
When I started eating better, giving my body rest, meditation and exercise, my entire vibration rose. I was able to think clearer, attract better and over-all live a more fulfilling life. My relationships changed to reflect the self-love I was giving myself. My life got easier!
Now, this isn't to say that I'm never sad or have a bad day. We are humans. But now, the bad days or the sadness don't last as long and I'm able to see the gift of transformation they give me.
I wrote this little guide, because I believe everyone has the right to this information.
I make it easy and break it down day by day so it's easier to follow and stick to.
For it to become part of your routine you have to make time for yourself everyday. You cannot give to others from a cup that is not full. Put yourself first and watch your life flourish before your eyes!
I also want to point out that this guide is simply a starting place and it is not comprehensive. I plan on releasing more free materials throughout the year.
The link to download the document is below.
Comment below if you try it and how you feel during the process. I would love to hear from you! You can also reach me at my e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
I hope you have a wonderful start to your week!
Love and light xoxo,
A couple weeks ago I had completely given up hope and decided that the only option to heal my skin for good was Accutane (Roaccutane.)
In the United States it can be quite a lengthy process to obtain the drug from a dermatologist, but here in France it was still a process: but much simpler.
I was handed the leaflet in French and told to read over all the possible side-effects. I read it, but I simply thought: "I want clear skin so badly, I'm not worried about getting any side effects. My mom was fine, so I'll be fine too."
I started the treatment and my skin cleared up practically overnight. I stopped getting pimples. Within a week my skin was completely clear. After suffering for years, I was so excited about the results I could hardly believe it.
One day, about a week into the treatment, I woke up and felt funny. I had no desire to get out of bed. I had no desire to exercise, meditate, eat or even simply move.
Which if you know me, you know those are the many things I love to do! What was going on?
It was the first time in my life that I felt possibly a fraction of what people who suffer from depression feel.
My entire body ached. I felt sick to my stomach. I had no appetite to eat. My neck was extremely sore. My brain felt foggy and tired. I could hardly keep my eyes open for more than 3 minutes. It took so much energy to even just move around the house or get myself dressed for the day.
Then it all clicked. These were all side effects of Accutane.
I instantly called my doctor and she was shocked, but agreed it was not normal. She told me most people don't see side effects like mine until they were on a higher dosage. I was only on 25 mg. She told me to stop for a couple days and see how I felt.
I stopped and my symptoms went away. My doctor decided that my body just couldn't handle Accutane, but it had worked so well for me that I insisted to try again.
This time the effects were worse. I started slowly with the medication and my neck was feeling better, so I decided to take a dance class. The dance classes I take are quite hard core. They are for professionals and very fast paced. I didn't think anything of it.
I woke up the next morning after the dance class with the worse pain I have ever felt in my neck. I couldn't move. I didn't want to walk. It hurt so bad. My muscles in my neck were on fire. I was scared.
I went to the doctor and she knew exactly what was going on. She told me: "Any athletes like you should not be on Accutane. Accutane weakens muscles and joints and makes them more susceptible to injuries and tears." My eyes got wide.
"You need to stop this medication now. A dancer should not be on this." She told me.
Even though I didn't want to admit it, I knew it was true.
I had no grief about stopping the medication. Acne was nothing compared to how bad I felt and the pain I was enduring.
Sadly, I don't know when I'll be able to dance again, because necks take a very long time to heal.
If I would have known what this pill can really do, I never would have gone on it.
But I'm grateful for the experience, because no matter how painful, now I know that with or without acne we are all beautiful and worthy.
Acne is a symptom of something going on in the body. Accutane is a cover-up. It may cover up the problem for a while, but the problem still remains.
I'm not writing this article to scare anyone. This is simply my story. Every body is different, and I know that my body is very sensitive and always has been.
This time, I'm choosing to take a whole body, mind and soul approach.
I'm limiting my stress through daily meditation, yoga and journaling. I'm eating a 100% whole foods plant based diet where I've eliminated all foods that are heavily processed or trigger my acne.
I am more determined than ever to get to the root of this issue instead of searching for a band-aid.
This drug is serious.
I took it lightly and I shouldn't have. I'm now focusing on healing and getting better so that I can dance again.
Love and light xoxo
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results”. -Albert Einstein
After two years on a mostly vegan diet, my skin was at its worse. I was at my wits end, and I was searching for answers.
I had tried altering my levels of fat and protein intake from plant sources and processed soy foods, but nothing was working. In fact, adding in more of those manufactured "vegan" foods made my skin even worse.
I decided to launch into some research on the link between vitamin deficieny and the skin. The information I found is staggering.
Vitamin A, E and Zinc
Research was done on two groups of people: those with moderate to severe acne and those without. The results from the study showed that the group with lower levels of Vitamin A and E had higher amounts of acne. Those with lower levels of zinc also saw a worsening of acne.
The signs of Vitamin A Deficiency are the following: night blindness, dry eyes, higher chance of respiratory, lung and ear infection(s), acne, cystic acne, skin flaking, dry scalp and dandruff.
As soon as I read that list, I understood.
Vitamin A helps acne by reducing the amount of sebum, or oil, produced by the skin. Vitamin A is an antioxidant and helps to reduce free radicals both on the skin and in the body.
The best way for your body to integrate nutrients for proper functioning is through the diet.
Vitamin A sources in the diet: liver, dairy products, fish, dark leafy green vegetables, yellow, orange and red fruits and veggies.
***One article I read suggested that it is best to get most of your Vitamin A from animal sources if you have a bad or compromised gut micro-biome. Because if you have a gut biome that is not functioning properly your body is not efficient at converting Vitamin A from plant sources. (Signs of a bad gut= IBS, crones, constipation, diarrhea, use of antibiotics over a period of time...you get the idea.)
Vitamin E sources in the diet: almonds, raw seeds, swiss chard, spinach, kale, plant oils, pumpkin and sesame seeds, mustard greens, hazelnuts, avocado, broccoli, parsley, papaya, olives.
I also love adding a plant based protein powder into my daily routine and this one from Arbonne is delicious and adds 20 vitamins and minerals (including vitamin E!) to your daily routine.
Zinc sources in the diet: pumpkin seeds (57% of daily value+++), grass fed beef, lamb, cashews, chickpeas, mushrooms, chicken, kefir, natural yogurt, spinach, raw cacao powder.
Zinc is super super SUPER important because it helps kill acne causing bacteria. One study found that high amounts of digestible zinc was almost as effective as minocycline, an antibiotic often prescribed for moderate to severe acne.
I prefer not to eat meat, so I take a supplement of Zinc Picolinate 22 MG one time a day after a large meal. Zinc Picolinate is the most easily absorbed form for the body, however, I would suggest talking to a doctor or pharmacy tech before taking it. (Taking a Zinc supplement could offset the amount of copper in your body, and that is not good either, so make sure you are getting enough sources of copper.)
Gut Health and the Skin
The role between gut health and our skin is staggering. It makes sense that if you have bacteria in your gut that is out of whack, your bacteria on your skin will also be out of whack.
Skin is the body's largest detox organ, so if you are missing key nutrients and getting too much of one thing (for me it was an increase in carbs, even the good kind!), your body will respond to try to help you out.
Acne is simply your body sending you a signal that something in your lifestyle isn't working for your benefit.
I highly suggest taking a pro-biotic such as the one from Arbonne called Digestion Plus. It is formulated with pre-biotics which help our bodies to produce more good bacteria and less bad. It's also super easy to use because you add it to water or any type of drink and it's tasteless. No pills, no problem!
I've been adding in some all natural yogurts, kefir, full fat cheeses and some organic skim milk into my diet and the results on my skin are staggering. Overall my diet has been more balanced and I have less redness, less irritation, less acne!!!! It's only been 1 week and I can't wait to see even more results.
However, I want to point out that I don't believe one diet fits all. I truly believe it's best to experiment and find what works best for you and your body.
My old vegan diet of oatmeal, bananas, tofu, soy yogurt, more bananas and more oatmeal was simply not cutting it. Now I am eating balanced, whole foods consciously and with moderation.
My best friend Jessica said it best when it comes to finding balance in our diet: "Eating carrots once in your life will not help you to be healthy. Just as eating a dessert every once and a while will not stop your progress of being healthy."
Sources from research:
Links to shop: http://www.jisellehenderkott.arbonne.com
A little over 4 months ago I wrote an article that I never intended to publish.
It was an accident that it got submitted for publication in the first place. I woke up one morning to an e-mail announcing that my article about Twin Flames was going to be published on one of the biggest online platforms in the country.
My heart sunk and my entire body was filled with dread. I started to panic. Everyone would know what I had tried to keep to myself for so long, because even I didn't understand it.
However, dread soon turned to excitement as I saw the number of shares soar into the thousands. That article currently has 9.7k shares. I thought: "maybe people would be open to hearing my story...maybe I wouldn't have to hide anymore?"
Since then, I have had many people reach out to me. All for which I am eternally grateful and honored.
I feel it only honest and authentic to share with you why I wrote that article in the first place. Because the longer I deny myself this freedom of speaking my truth, the longer I will feel in the dark.
The past two years of my life have been a whirl-wind. I changed instantly, almost over-night due to a very brief encounter. I woke up one day and I couldn't go back to who I used to be.
Everything about me changed. Every limiting belief, fear and pain in me had been brought to the surface. Everything was highlighted, stronger and life had more meaning. I finally felt in me a huge surge in purpose, in identity.
I saw myself connected to everyone and everything on the planet. I had a spiritual awakening and upon returning from France in 2016 I tried to blend my old life with my new one.
It was almost if I had been walking through life drunk and I suddenly woke up sober. I had to make changes. I had to let go of people, places and ideas that were no longer right for me.
I had a connection to someone that was unexplainable and supernatural. Many times I tried to forget. Many times I ran from the feelings I felt. Many times I thought I was going mentally insane.
Until I met someone who understood. I met someone like me who assured me that what I was going through was supernatural, spiritual, but it didn't mean I was crazy. She called it twin flames.
It sounded like some weird voodoo cousin to the idea of soulmates.
I was trying to figure out how my outer world could be so vastly different from how I felt on the inside. Because even when the outer "relationship" was going in the deep end I still felt immense love.
I would have dreams before, during and after meeting this person that to this day blow my mind. I got clues about where we would meet, how and when.
I experienced telepathy and out of body experiences. I would feel emotions out of nowhere that were not mine. My soul was pushing me to let go and to allow myself to be who I had always been.
The psychic gifts I long denied in myself came back full force. I had to accept them. I guess you could say I started seeing spirits. My medium gifts came to me slowly and then all at once.
Until this day I have not felt comfortable talking about my experiences or my spiritual gifts for fear of rejection, humiliation and isolation. I've feared being labeled as a "freak."
But believe me when I say that sometimes life chooses a path for you that you did not. Sometimes destiny has a way of catching up to you.
My life would be easier if I had never met this person, but I would not be who I am today. Sometimes people serve a great purpose in your life, but that doesn't always mean they are meant to stay in my our lives.
In the beginning, I only shared my story and gifts with those that needed it most. But I'm done hiding, and I'm done living two lives.
I am one whole person. I do not want to live this part of my life in the shadows anymore. I don't want to be separate from who I truly am.
Because we are humans and we are flawed with wounds and scars that no one can see. But after this experience I found the courage in me to stop denying my pain and start accepting it.
I started to accept that all the fears in me of not being good enough, or pretty enough or this or that enough were just excuses. They were illusions.
They were my mental mind trying to fit the story of what I saw and experienced into the standard that society projects onto us.
But this world is a hologram. We are dreamers constantly dreaming. We dream when we sleep, but we also dream when we are awake. This is my dream. This is my reality. I don't want to live in society's dream anymore.
Over time I've learned to let go. I've learned to understand that when someone doesn't choose us it is not rejection. It is learning. It is growth for their soul and our's. It is our energy telling us that there is more out there in this life. Energy must flow. Energy wants to expand and evolve and anything in the past is simply that, in the past.
But it is a gift. Everything in this life is a gift. Every lesson. Every hardship.
There are soul contracts we have with other souls and other lessons we need to learn. All we can do is love. Love everyone and accept their choices.
Because at the end of the day we all have free will. Even if our souls are bound to a path we are constantly on a journey of expansion and evolution. We are constantly choosing our destiny in this one moment we call now.
What ways can we love ourselves more?
What ways can we learn to love others more? What ways can we empower ourselves to be our own creators above fear of judgement?
Anything is possible.
I'm proof of that. We all are.
I hope that someone out there reading this resonates even a little bit with what I've been going through. I am blessed. Above all, I am blessed to have lived two lives in one.
As I'm getting ready to post this on my blog, my entire body is shaking. I'm in fear. I'm scared, but I know I must do this. I must speak my truth.
Because as the consciousness of love and acceptance rises on this planet, I have no doubt in my mind that more and more people with feel comfortable coming forward and sharing their stories too.
I wish you only the best in this life.